Complete text of the Jester and the King

THE JESTER AND THE KING

SCENE ONE

QUICKFELLOW'S BEDROOM

Note- King’s throne and Jester’s bedroom can be on one stage. Throne back stage left, bedroom forward stage right with appropriate changes of lighting.

AS LIGHT FOCUS ONE COMES UP WE FIND QUICKFELLOW ASLEEP ON HIS BED, SNORING. GRETA ENTERS FROM ENTRANCE ONE, SINGING WITH A BROOM IN HER HAND.

GRETA (SINGING)

The fox went out in a hungry plight,

Prayed for the moon to give him light . . .

GRETA NOTICES QUICKFELLOW

GRETA

Wake up, you empty bag of wit;

The sun has hardly risen yet,

And here you are, asleep again.

WITH MOCK SOLEMNITY GRETA KNIGHTS QUICKFELLOW ON THE STOMACH WITH THE BROOM

GRETA

Arise, Sir Laziest-of-Men!

QUICKFELLOW WAKES UP WITH A START

QUICKFELLOW

Eh? Pondering, just pondering.

GRETA

Well, ponder on this problem then:

Apply your much-acclaimed, great wit

To something that's in front of it;

Your pretty purse is running dry

And we need gold to see us by.

QUICKFELLOW

That's just what I was working on-

For as you note, our gold has gone,

Like dancing dust before the storm,

Like sparkling stars before the dawn.

But how am I to get some more?

Now that's the problem, to be sure.

It is too soon for kingly gift,

And is too late for saving thrift.

GRETA (SARCASTICALLY)

The quickness of your thought, the fine

Swift keenness of your clever mind,

Are truly wonderful to see!

Such brilliance and such clarity!

Such penetrating insight, found

With grasp of all that is profound!

I could have told you that myself!

QUICKFELLOW ( WITH PHONEY DIGNITY )

Dear Nag, you've wasted all the wealth

Bestowed on us by our good king,

At our sad time of marrying,

In three short month of squandering-

With pretty dresses, perfumed airs,

And flashing jewellery from fairs.

GRETA

I like the sound of that! No doubt

You have forgotten all about

Your all-night revelling, your gifts

To short-lived enterprises: lifts

On fortune's road to its dead end.

And all the other coins you spend

With good friends in the gambling trade-

And of your fine clothes, tailor-made.

QUICKFELLOW

The wheel of fortune turns its way,

And what was once is not today.

So, as they say, what's done is done.

No need to quibble, dearest one.

Still, things don't look too good for us.

The way I view the matter's thus-

As yet I dare not ask for more;

The king throws spendthrifts out the door.

GRETA

You'd better think of something fast;

Or else our present state is past.

QUICKFELLOW (DEJECTEDLY)

My mind is blank, my brain is dry.

I see no plans in my thought's eye.

We can't get married once more- that's by-

So all that we can do is die!

QUICKFELLOW SITS DEJECTEDLY ON THE BED BUT SUDDENLY SPRINGS UP AS AN IDEA STRIKES HIM

QUICKFELLOW

Greta, Greta, that's it! Let's die!

GRETA (IRONICALLY)

Quickfellow wait; just let me try

To guess- this worry's warped your brain,

And now you're really quite insane.

We need to live so we should die:

We need to laugh so we should cry,

Or rest our legs by a mountain climb.

QUICKFELLOW

No, no! I've really got a plan this time.

Now listen closely to my pretence.

I'll seek a special audience

With his most royal Majesty.

All onion-teared, in misery,

I'll tell him how you passed away,

Most sadly, only yesterday.

Yes, you have gone- so I'll relate-

A victim of a cruel fate,

And after dearest treatment too . . .

For only the best of all would do,

And that, of course, took all our gold.

GRETA

Where's all this leading, dear Sir Bold?

QUICKFELLOW

Oh, Greta, come now, don't you see!

True brilliance is bound to be

Built on a strong simplicity.

I'll have to ask his Majesty

For gold to bury you, as is fit,

I'm sure he won't mind giving it.

He won't mind paying properly

In such a time of tragedy.

GRETA

Well, mind you don't end hanging loose

Upon the end of a hangman's noose.

QUICKFELLOW

No fear, my love. no fear of that!

I won't end up the one who's flat.

Indeed, to be quite sure of my prediction,

I'll play my part with real conviction.

So it shall be! Now you lie low

And off with my sad news I'll go.

GRETA

All right, I'll vanish from court view.

I'll disappear from day; but you

Take greatest care to sound quite true!

GRETA GIVES QUICKFELLOW A KISS AND SHE EXITS VIA ENTRANCE ONE. QUICKFELLOW CROSSES TO EXIT ONE, SINGING.

QUICKFELLOW (SINGING TO HIMSELF)

A fox went out in a hungry plight,

Prayed for the moon to give him light,

For he'd many a mile to trot that night

Before he could reach his den-o, den-o, den-o;

He'd many a mile to trot that night

Before he could reach his den-o. . .

QUICKFELLOW EXITS. LIGHTS FADE

SCENE TWO

THRONE ROOM. AS LIGHT FOCUS TWO COMES UP WE FIND KING FREDERICK ON HIS THRONE WITH DODDERPUSS ATTENDING HIM

FREDERICK

Does any courtier crave to be heard

For judgement by the royal word?

DODDERPUSS

Your Highness, none but a worthless, cunning sort.

FREDERICK

I have no worthless man in court.

Who do you mean, old Dodderpuss?

No- do not answer, I can guess!

My jester Quickfellow wakes your scorn;

Though but a harmless, pleasing pawn,

Untroubled by affairs of state-

A joker whose quick wits create

Diversions from the cares of power,

And laughter in a carefree hour.

And sometimes through light foolery

We see a truth more totally:

Our viewpoint's changed, we drop false pride

And see things from another side.

So what's he do to earn your hate?

Go now, and bid him enter straight!

DODDERPUSS (BOWING STIFFLY)

Yes, right away, your Majesty.

FREDERICK (ALONE, MUSING)

All foolishness and trickery

Does not come clothed in motley dress.

But often, like old Dodderpuss,

Parades itself with pompous airs,

Self-spun importance and proud stares.

DODDERPUSS ENTERS, FOLLOWED BY QUICKFELLOW

DODDERPUSS

Master Quickfellow.

QUICKFELLOW (BOWING)

Your Highest Majesty!

FREDERICK

Well, what is this? What's this I see?

A stooping grief, a face of woe,

A quivering lip, the eyes' moist flow-

No jesting quickens your mind today,

You look quite stricken by dismay.

QUICKFELLOW (WITH PATHOS)

I fear that sad news brings me here,

Your Highness, for I've lost my dear;

The only jewel of my days

Has vanished from my grieving gaze-

My dearest dear has left this life,

My dearest, darling, little wife!

My gentle dove has flown away

Into the endless blue of day!

My sweetest sweet, my only love,

Has gone to that vast realm above!

Yes, after all the best and most

Expensive treatment, stinting no cost,

My own good Greta passed away,

Most sadly, only yesterday.

FREDERICK

There is but one thought for your pain:

Our earthly loss is heaven's gain.

True faith can temper your distress

As time goes by. Consider this:

We all must die one day, you know.

QUICKFELLOW (HASTILY)

Ah yes, indeed, indeed that's so.

However, I'm still weighed down with woe;

The cost of trying to keep life's hold

On her has gobbled down my gold,

And I have nothing left at all

To give her decent burial.

FREDERICK (TO DODDERPUSS)

Go; give him some gold immediately.

QUICKFELLOW

A thousand thanks, your Majesty.

QUICKFELLOW BACKS OUT BOWING PROFUSELY. HE EXITS VIA ENTRANCE TWO. DODDERPUSS GOES TO FOLLOW HIM.

DODDERUSS (TO HIMSELF, ANGRILY)

More money for the thieving-bold:

A sorry tale becomes good gold!

DOODERPUSS EXITS

FREDERICK (WITH A SIGH)

And so my jester has no smile;

And will not have for quite a while.

The grim-faced, bony dancer bests

The laughing life of jokes and jests.

FREDERICK EXITS, SHAKING HIS HEAD. LIGHTS FADE.

SCENE THREE

QUICKFELLOW'S BEDROOM. AS LIGHT FOCUS ONE COMES UP, WE FIND GRETA SITTING ON BED

GRETA

I wonder how Quickfellow's faring:

With gold or trouble for his daring.

High in his growing tree of schemes

He's on a thinner branch of dreams.

In reaching for the last, gold apple

He must take care he doesn't topple.

He must not break what he has bent

With scheming that's too confident!

QUICKFELLOW ENTERS VIA ENTRANCE ONE, CARRYING A SMALL SACK IN HIS HAND. HE PLACES THE SACK ON THE BED WITH AN AIR OF TRIUMPH.

QUICKFELLOW

Much richer than I went, I come!

A perfect ploy, my dearest one-

IT worked just like s smooth scene played,

Perfected by the actor's trade

So I return, as I foretold-

A hundred pieces of pure gold!

GRETA (WITH A SMILE)

You think that's clever. Then see this.

SHE PULLS OUT TWO SACKS FROM BENEATH THE BED

Two hundred! Not a fraction less!

QUICKFELLOW

What! What! How did you conjure that!

You've really knocked my posing flat.

GRETA

A perfect ploy, my dear. You see

The mirror of your trickery;

I've twice supplied our golden lack-

Just your idea turned on its back.

I thought that two might try this scheme;

So went, sad-widowed, to the queen,

And told her of your cruel demise,

With quavering voice and tear-stained eyes-

And came back with the golden prize.

QUICKFELLOW (LAUGHING)

Oh Greta, you're really worse than me!

You've grown well versed in villainy.

A THOUGHT STRIKES HIM

By now our case gains complication-

Your news will carry no relation

To mine when their Majesties

Compare diverging destinies.

Two tales and neither of them true-

It's bound to mix a deadly brew.

I'd thought to prop up this pretence

While I dreamed up a good defence.

So now we have no time to waste,

We must be off in greatest haste.

The king and queen are meeting soon,

As usual, in the afternoon.

Let's hurry now and pack our things,

We needs must grow migrating wings.

GRETA

Yes, we must move immediately-

Time tells of tales' disparity.

QUICKFELLOW GOES TO GATHER THE SACKS, BUT GRETA WITH A SLIGHT PETULANCE TAKES HER TWO. THEY EXIT VIA ENTRANCE ONE, LIGHT FOCUS ONE FADES.

SCENE FOUR

THE THRONE ROOM

AS LIGHT FOCUS TWO COMES UP WE FIND KING FREDERICK AND QUEEN FREDERICA ENTERING AND GOING OVER TO SIT ON THEIR THRONES.

DODDERPUSS AND LADY SMALLTALK IN ATTENDANCE

FREDERICK

But Frederica, my own dear,

I'm telling you that he was here!

One's own good ears, one's own clear eyes,

Would seem fair witness to the wise.

What you relate ties riddle's knot:

What cannot be, can not- is not.

They cannot both be drawing breath

And silent in the still of death.

So dearest, I can only deem

What you relate a wakeful dream.

Let's please pursue some slight degree

Of sense and logicality.

FREDERICA

So like a man! He must become

Infallibility's own son!

While woman cannot have the wit

To read one line of truth's own writ.

No, Frederick, I'm telling you

That all I'm telling you is true:

She visited this very day.

Not three, short hours have slipped away

Since Greta came to me and said

Her dearest husband was quite dead.

All widow-worn and weeping-eyed

(Her man spent all before he died)

She'd neither gold nor jewellery

To see him buried properly.

FREDERICK

I understand you feel quite sure,

However, as I said before,

You must be dreaming, dearest one!

Quickfellow seemed quite overcome

When he set forth his woe to me:

And he produced a similar plea.

DODDERPUSS

Permission to speak, your Majesty.

FREDERICK

Permission granted, Dodderpuss.

DODDERPUSS (EAGERLY)

Perhaps I could. . .look into this,

And make a call of sympathy

To find who's really. . .dead, you see.

FREDERICK

Of course, why not? So it may be.

Go; bring the answer back to me.

DODDERPUSS

Yes, right away, your Majesty.

DODDERPUSS BOWS, SHOWING OBVIOUS EAGERNESS.

FREDERICK RISES, TAKING FREDERICA'S HAND

FREDERICK

Come, Frederica, we shall wait;

The facts shall soon end all debate.

And what is true then all shall see

As true in truth's simplicity.

FREDERICK AND FREDERICA EXIT, FOLLOWED BY LADY SMALLTALK

DODDERPUSS COMES FORWARD

DODDERPUSS (ALONE)

At last a chance has come my way,

Oh, perfect, pleasing, joyous day,

To catch that jesting ratbag out. . .

His tale is false, I have no doubt.

My nose detects a nasty pong;

I'm sure somehow that something's wrong!

I'll teach him to make a mockery

Of courtiers with his trickery.

Why should he be paid for idle days

Of laughter, jokes and jesting ways?

I'll pin him firmly in his place

And wipe the smirk right off his face

I'll foul this little trick of his-

I'll show what sort of man he is.

DODDERPUSS EXITS. LIGHT FOCUS TWO FADES.

SCENE FIVE

QUICKFELLOW'S BEDROOM

AS LIGHT FOCUS ONE COMES UP WE FIND GRETA LOOKING AROUND THE ROOM

GRETA (TO HERSELF)

The hours turn towards the rise of night

Which brings obscuring of the light;

The blue becomes star-patterned sphere,

And under its cover we'll get clear.

Beneath the shelter of the dark,

The cloak of sleep, we shall depart

For other lands, for other days,

With gold to pave our laughing ways.

So I should hurry up and be

Prepared for our good odyssey;

I must be finished packing soon-

Do I need anything from this room?

GRETA CONTINUES SEARCHING. QUICKFELLOW ENTERS IN OBVIOUS AGITATION FROM EXIT ONE, LOOKING OUT TOWARDS AUDIENCE RIGHT.

HE TURNS HURRIES TOWARDS THE BEDROOM

QUICKFELLOW

By hell's black hounds, what shall I do?

I've really thrown us in the stew!

GRETA

What's wrong with you? You look so pale:

As if a ghost were on your trail.

QUICKFELLOW

Much worse, much worse is what I've seen!

Oh, what a feeble fool I've been!

You see, I've just seen Dodderpuss

Quick-tottering down the road towards us.

That nasty, nosy, telltale nit

Has sniffed the scent of my deceit.

He's seized his chance with our parading

Of puzzling griefs, and thus persuading

King Frederick to send him out

To check my story's deal of doubt.

Let's see. . .let's see, there's one wild chance:

We called the tune, we'll join the dance!

Or turning terms another way,

I shall impress with grief's display!

Quick- throw yourself down on the bed,

And lie there still, like one who's dead.

I'll pull this sheet right over you,

And hide you wholly from his view.

GRETA

I'll be so still I'll strike belief-

But you must be most moved by grief!

GRETA THROWS HERSELF ON THE BED. QUICKFELLOW PULLS UP THE SHEET, THEN GETS DOWN BY THE SIDE OF THE BED, READY TO LAMENT

QUICKFELLOW

As soon as he trots into view

My tears will start, so hot and true.

AS SOON AS HE SEES DODDERPUSS HE STARTS LAMENTING. DODDERPUSS HAS ENTERED VIA ENTRANCE TWO AND HE COMES DOWN AND AROUND THE SCREEN TO THE BED.

QUICKFELLOW (LAMENTING)

Oh how I cry, oh how I sigh,

Right to the broad and dusk-red sky!

For disappearing is the day,

And my light too has gone away!

My dearest dear, now we're apart,

Oh, grief, oh grief just grips my heart!

My little love, now you're laid low,

My soul is so weighed down with woe!

My sorrow is an aching load,

To bear on life's long, bitter road!

Oh, now you're dead, my dearest wife,

How empty seems the rest of life!

DODDERPUSS

Excuse my interruption, sir-

I've come here as a messenger. . .

That is to say. . .not of. . .new news,

But of His Majesty's grave views.

In short, to speak my purpose swiftly,

That is. . .condense the matter briefly-

His Majesty, His Royal Highness,

Great be His Realm, in all its fineness,

The King, that is, said to convey,

In further measure than his way

In audience had seemed to say,

Deep sympathy on this dark day.

QUICKFELLOW

Oh, Dodderpuss, what shall I do?

The grief just pierces me right through!

QUICKFELLOW THROWS HIMSELF ON DODDERPUSS, HIS ARMS AND HANDS PAWING AT HIM SUFFICIENTLY TO MAKE HIM UNSTEADY

DODDERPUSS (HURRYING TO EXTRACT HIMSELF)

Please pardon me, I do not know

Quite what to say about your woe.

I've given you my message, so

I must be gone, I'm bound to say. . .

For I have much to do today,

So I must get back right away!

DODDERPUSS EXITS HURRIEDLY VIA EXIT TWO QUICKFELLOW GOES OUT TO SEE HIM GO

QUICKFELLOW (TO HIMSELF)

I'm truly glad to see you go,

You sneaking, prying so-and-so.

TO GRETA

Well, that is that! Once more we're free

To finish packing now and flee.

GRETA (RISING)

When we are many miles from here,

It's then I'll feel we're in the clear;

I do not trust their Majesties

To let us rest in simple ease.

QUICKFELLOW (TURNING BACK TO THE BEDROOM)

You may be right, indeed you may!

We'll finish packing right away.

SUDDENLY QUICKFELLOW NOTICES SOMETHING ELSE, OFF AUDIENCE RIGHT

By all the powers of heaven, no!

Our trouble doubles in one blow!

GRETA

What is it now? Why do you stand

Like one who sees doom near at hand?

QUICKFELLOW

Another unwelcome, prying bore

Will soon be calling at our door.

That gossipy, old bag of air,

Your mistress Smalltalk, is over there;

And carefully coming a different way

From master Dodderpuss, I'd say.

The queen has sent her here, I guess.

She doesn't trust old Dodderpuss,

She thinks that he will just report

What fits the king's own favoured thought.

We'd better act, she's getting near!

GRETA JUMPS UP FROM SITTING ON BED

GRETA

I know the queen; she hopes to hear

A different tale from her old horse!

And there she's right- she will, of course!

For differing report delays

Perception of our cheating ways;

Their majesties can argue on-

For very soon we shall be gone.

Our fortunes wheel like birds in the sky;

Come on, it's your turn now to die.

GRETA AND QUICKFELLOW QUICKLY CHANGE PLACES

GRETA (LAMENTING)

Now you are dumb, oh, dearest one,

Now you've fled life, now you are gone,

Oh woe is heaped on hopeless woe-

Now that your soul's gone down below!

My foolish love and loving fool,

Now subject to tormenting rule!

Oh, husband dear, you've left your wife,

How empty seems the rest of life!

AS SHE HAS BEEN SPEAKING LADY SMALLTALK HAS ENTERED

LADY SMALLTALK

My pretty, dear, young-featured thing,

Still sipping from life's joyful spring,

I'm sad to see you sorrowing;

I grieve to see you wrapped in grief-

We must be brave that's my belief!

In fact, the queen has sent me here

To try to comfort you, my dear.

So take this now and dry your eyes;

One wrinkles more, the more one cries.

LADY SMALLTALK OFFERS HER A HANDKERCHIEF

GRETA

Lady Smalltalk, what shall I do?

The grief just pierces me right through!

GRETA THROWS HERSELF ON LADY SMALLTALK AS QUICKFELLOW DID TO DODDERPUSS.

LADY SMALLTALK

Control yourself, dear. After all,

Don't take this wrongly now, my girl,

You could find better any day-

That is, you see, I mean to say,

There are many men, fine dukes and such,

Who might be well within your clutch.

The Good Lord gives and takes away-

But tomorrow is another day!

For such is life. Our present woes

Seem ever smaller as time goes.

No need to waste your younger years

On storms of sighing and of tears.

GRETA BACKS TOWARDS THE BED

GRETA (ARCHLY)

I guess you're right there, in a way:

A spendthrift fool on holiday,

That's how he's lived and now he's paid

The price of endless masquerade.

Though I'd implore him to improve

And run within a steady groove,

Wise words are wasted on the ear

That never hears when trouble's near.

No doubt I could do better than

That thoughtless, ever-jesting man.

HIDDEN BY GREAT AND THUS UNSEEN TO LADY SMALLTALK, QUICKFELLOW SWIFTLY SLAPS GRETA ON THE BOTTOM FOR THIS LAST REMARK. GRETA REACTS WITH A LOOK OF SLIGHT SHOCK. LADY SMALLTALK TURNS BACK TO HER AND NOTICES HER CHANGE OF MOOD

LADY SMALLTALK

I see you're feeling better now!

No need to lose each lovely hour

In sorrow when there's much to do!

I knew you'd see my point of view.

No point in fretting for what's flown;

Far better seeing what you own.

The future furthers those who choose

To use whatever they can use.

You have to pluck the best each day

From twists of fate that come your way.

Well- I must hurry off, my dear;

Queen Frederica is eager to hear

Some news of how you're feeling now.

GRETA

Oh, thank you for calling at this sad hour.

LADY SMALLTALK EXITS. QUICKFELLOW SITS UP ON THE BED

QUICKFELLOW

How that old galleon does rattle;

Her sails puffed-out with spite and prattle!

She loves to sail near to the fray

And let her cannons blast away!

Still, now she's gone, we'd best lie low

And wait until the storm clouds go.

We cannot try to run just yet.

GRETA (THOUGHTFULLY)

The fish is tangling in the net;

Our ship is running on the rocks;

The hounds are closing on the fox;

The mouse has seen the traps are set.

I hope their Majesties forget

This matter of who's dead or not.

QUICKFELLOW

They haven't yet quite yet sprung the plot.

Don't worry love, we'll find a way

To slip the problems of this day.

GRETA

I hope that your hope's justified,

Or we'll be well and truly fried!

GRETA EXITS

QUICKFELLOW (TO HIMSELF)

Yes, it is easy to seem calm;

But calm is no defence from harm.

SINGING SOFTLY TO HIMSELF FROM THE FOX AS HE STRAIGHTENS THE BED

Now John he ran to the top of the hill,

And he blew a blast both loud and shrill,

Said the fox, "That's very pretty music, still

I'd rather be in my den-o, den-o, den-o."

Said the fox, "That's very pretty music, still

I'd rather be in my den-o."

LIGHTS DIM. HE EXITS.

SCENE SIX

THE THRONE ROOM. AS LIGHT FOCUS TWO COMES UP, WE FIND KING FREDERICK AND QUEEN FREDERICA ON THEIR THRONES.

FREDERICK

Well now, my dear, the truth shall be

Revealed in all its clarity-

My messenger returns to me.

Now, once and for all, we shall see

Which one of our once-happy pair

Has flown forever from earthly care.

DODDERPUSS ENTERS

Come Dodderpuss, now did you find

Which one has left this life behind?

DODDERPUSS

Indeed I did, your Majesty.

It is. . .the wife, undoubtedly.

FREDERICK (SMUGLY)

Well, there you are, my dear, you see

It is the wife- undoubtedly!

FREDERICA (CROSSLY)

There's only one thing that's quite clear:

You're just told what you want to hear.

I won't rely on that old stick!

POINTING TO DODDERPUSS

He won't trip me with his weak trick!

You know he's only pleasing you-

You see, I know it can't be true.

LADY SMALLTALK ENTERS

Ah, Lady Smalltalk, I'm glad you're back;

On strictest oath, just give the facts.

So tell us all, now you've been round,

Just what is it that you have found.

LADY SMALLTALK (BOWING)

Your Majesty, just let me say,

The husband's dead, it's clear as day.

FREDERICK

As clear as day you say to me-

As dark as night it seems to be.

But those who hold the power of state

Must keep a clear head in debate.

And in all things clear wisdom sees

That true impossibilities

Just cannot be; and so must test

Alternatives to find what's best.

This foolish matter bothers me

With challenge of absurdity.

WITH SUDDEN DECISION

Thus I'll not let this matter be,

But lift the veil of mystery!

And so it is I'll find who's right

Or I'll not rest in bed tonight.

TO DODDERPUSS

Go; ready the fastest coach for me;

My queen and I shall go and see

If we can trace the golden thread

That leads to truth's clear fountainhead

Through all the muddy maze of doubt.

When we're both there we shall find out

This riddle's reason which unlocks

The single truth in paradox.

FREDERICK AND FREDERICA EXIT, LEAVING LADY SMALLTALK STARING AFTER THEM. LIGHTS FADE.

SCENE SEVEN

QUICKFELLOW'S BEDROOM.

AS LIGHT FOCUS ONE COMES UP WE FIND QUICKFELLOW ON HIS BED.

QUICKFELLOW (REFLECTIVELY)

Although we cannot run just yet,

For things are far too hot for that-

The rabbit hugs to briar hedge

While ever the fox still roams the edge;

We can't stay here a long time, for

We cannot even cross the door

And thus appear in public view.

But shortly, when the fuss is through,

We'll take upon us some disguise

And slip away from prying eyes,

And set up in another place,

With another name for this old face.

But, for the present, all seems clear.

GRETA RUSHES IN, GESTURING FRANTICALLY

QUICKFELLOW

The cat has eaten your tongue, my dear?

GRETA (BLURTING IT OUT)

The king and queen themselves have come.

You fool! Now look what you have done!

QUICKFELLOW

Please pardon if I need correction-

Was I alone in this deception?

GRETA GOES TO ANSWER

QUICKFELLOW

Scratch that! No time for long debate!

What can we do? We can't escape!

Oh, have we left it all too late!

THINKING

The king is calling at our gate-

HE HAS A SUDDEN DESPERATE THOUGHT

We'll greet him in our proper state.

In other words, lie down while I

Lie by your side; we both shall die.

GRETA

You're right! There's nothing left to do

But show them both, we both are through.

THEY LIE DOWN QUICKLY AND QUICKFELLOW DRAWS THE SHEET RIGHT OVER THEIR HEADS. FREDERICK AND FREDERICA ENTER, FOLLOWED BY DODDERPUSS

FREDERICK

Well now, my dear, at last we'll see

The answer to this mystery.

HE LOOKS AROUND

Two bodies here now, it would seem.

So what on earth does all this mean?

DODDERPUSS

Perhaps. . . he. . .died from his distress.

FREDERICA (FIRMLY)

You mean, she died, old Dodderpuss.

FREDERICK (MUSING)

I need a weather-vane to show

Which way the winds decide to blow.

As what is true is surely true-

Another answer comes in view.

SLYLY

If anyone came back to life,

I wouldn't wish that they died twice.

In fact, I'd give this diamond ring

To know the truth about this thing.

HE TAKES A RING FROM HIS FINGER

QUICKFELLOW (PEEPING OUT SIDEWAYS FROM UNDER THE SHEET)

Your Majesty, may I oblige?

My wife, who's lying by my side,

Has suddenly recovered breath

And woken from apparent death.

And so the truth, it would appear,

Is that we're both still really here!

QUICKFELLOW SLIDES OUT, LEAPS UP, AND TAKES GRETA BY THE HAND, SHE RISES. THEY BOW.

FREDERICA (WITH A SMILE)

And so the truth is found at last:

That both are present and not past.

FREDERICK (WITH A LAUGH)

Yes, that's the truth. I might have guessed

All this was but a crafty jest!

DODDERPUSS (FURIOUS)

Justice! I demand he die

For weaving this disgraceful lie!

FREDERICK (LAUGHING LOUDER AT DODDERPUSS' ANGER)

Yes, justice shall be done in this!

TO QUICKFELLOW

You are my jesting clown, no less?

QUICKFELLOW (NODS AND BOWS)

With that position I am blessed.

FREDERICK

And thus for jesting you are paid?

QUICKFELLOW

Your Majesty, that is my trade.

FREDERICK

And this was all a jest you made?

QUICKFELLOW

Indeed, Your Highness, that is so-

A trick, a joke, a little show.

FREDERICK

And yet indeed a teaching too,

Instructing us in what is true.

For even if it were not planned,

It's shown a blindness of command.

The half of truth each time we got,

And yet that half at once forgot.

If we had not been blinded by

Delight in arguing, the lie

Would not have worked so readily-

Truth would have been seen easily.

Thus we can learn opinion's worth

Is just a pinch of dusty earth!

GIVING HIM THE RING

So take this ring as pay from me,

But in future spend more sparingly.

For all that you have conned this day

I shall regard as future pay

For some years' jesting and merriment

That I'll expect you to present.

WITH A BROAD GESTURE

Come all, let us continue now

This merry start to night's first hour.

KING FREDERICK TAKES FREDERICA'S HAND AND THEY EXIT, FOLLOWED BY DODDERPUSS, STILL GRUMBLING TO HIMSELF. GRETA FOLLOWS THEM. QUICKFELLOW POCKETS THE RING AND STARTS TO EXIT, SINGING THE FOX , WHICH WE HEAR TILL IT FADES AWAY ON THE LAST LINE.

QUICKFELLOW (SINGING)

Then the fox and his wife, without any strife,

Cut up the goose without fork or knife.

They'd never had such a good meal in their life

And the little ones chewed on the bones-o, bones-o, bones-o;

They'd never had such a good meal in their life

And the little ones chewed on the bones-o.

LIGHTS FADE.

THE END.