THE SCHOLAR FROM
THE OTHER WORLD
a folk comedy
SCENE ONE
BEFORE BRIDGET'S
HOUSE
A COUPLE OF STOOLS
FOR BRIDGET AND TOM TO SIT
ON LATER IF WISHED
ENTER BRIDGET
BRIDGET (SINGING AS
SHE SWEEPS)
Peasant girl, o love
is bright,
He may come to you
tonight!
Peasant girl, o love
is sweet;
He may kneel before
your feet.
Peasant wife, put
love away,
He cares not for you
today!
(WITH A DEEP SIGH)
How many sighs I
sigh when I
Remember fond times
now gone by;
How many sorry tears
I cried
When he, my first
dear husband died.
How good life was
while he was here;
But now he's gone,
the poor, old dear.
Oh, that I had not
used another,
The first one loved
me like a lover-
The second is a
different matter!
Bad-tempered,
stingy, hates all chatter,
And kills all humour
in the house,
Quiet as a cat
awaiting a mouse.
God bless my old
love; I wish that I
Still had his cheer
to help me by;
His warmth to hold
to in the night;
He was a loving man,
all right.
Still, things are as
they are, I guess.
I can't forget him,
nonetheless.
I hope he's happy up
on high;
Oh well, I guess
it's best that I
Pursue my work to
pass the day.
(NOTICING SOMETHING
OFFSTAGE LEFT)
Who's this who's
coming up my way?
A stranger to these
parts, I'd say.
How curious his
clothes: I'd swear
He must be someone
from a fair.
OFFSTAGE SINGING, ON
THE LAST LINES, CURIO, DRESSED
RATHER EXTRAVAGANTLY
IN THE STYLE OF A WANDERING
SCHOLAR, ENTERS
BRIDGET
Good day, good sir.
May all be well.
Where do you hail
from, sir? Pray tell.
CURIO
Good morning, fair
mistress. Good day to you.
I'll make reply;
I'll tell you true.
Well may my answer
give you pause-
Far from this little
world of yours,
Far from your
earth-bound realm come I,
As if descended from
the sky.
BRIDGET
(WONDERINGLY)
What of your clothes
? I've never seen
The like in all the
years I've been !
CURIO (GRANDLY)
You wonder at my odd
attire ?
Well, I've arrived
here from a higher,
Finer plane of
living, so to speak.
Is that the answer
that you seek ?
The other world of
splendid towns,
Of golden rings and
velvet gowns :
The other world of
cities grand-
Another place,
another land.
BRIDGET (EXCITEDLY)
The other world! O
please explain.
Please make your
answer clear and plain.
The other world !
Oh, is it true,
All this I hear,
dear sir, from you ?
CURIO (POMPOUSLY)
The other world,
indeed, dear soul!
Just let me answer
plain and whole;
Just let me, pace
tua, say:
From Paris lies my
brilliant way.
A cat amongst the
Paris mice,
I come from casting
Paris dice.
I left not many days
ago.
BRIDGET (STARTLED)
Left Paradise! You
don't say so!
I wondered why you
dressed so strangely.
CURIO (SMILING,
DECIDING TO PLAY ALONG)
I departed from that
realm but lately-
Yes, studying
knowledge quite divine.
BRIDGET (URGENTLY)
I must ask after a
friend of mine.
Within the last
twelve months or so,
My first dear
husband died, you know,
And left me on this
earth below
To carry on life's
joy and woe.
The dear, old thing
quite passed away.
Did you, while on
your heavenly stay,
By chance meet up
with him up there ?
He was pious and
proper, honest and fair;
I couldn't doubt, he
was so nice,
That he flew
straight to Paradise.
CURIO (PLAYING ALONG
WITH MOCK SERIOUSNESS)
How many are the
honest men
One finds up high in
heaven when
One takes that final
journey there.
Then tell me
something of your dear,
So I may pick him
from the crew
Of many dear folk
that I knew.
How did he look ?
What did he wear
When you laid him
in the brown earth's care?
BRIDGET
Oh, let me see !
Just let me think-
Yes, when we lowered
him over the brink,
He had a blue hat on
his head
And winding sheet,
as for the dead.
CURIO (WISELY)
Oh, yes, I know him
well, dear soul.
But listen, secrets
I'll unfold
For you alone ; no
other must
Be let into this
secret trust.
I knew your husband
well, for sure ;
Though names are
changed at heaven's door.
He had that hat and
winding sheet,
But not the best, I
must admit,
But nothing else to
tell the truth.
For mostly even the
greenest youth
Takes gold and
clothes with him on high.
But yours slipped by
the needle's eye
Most easily, so I
believe.
He has no boots, or
coat's warm weave,
Or decent trousers,
woollen shirt-
Just what he took to
mother earth.
Yes, he can set his
old, blue hat
At a jaunty angle,
just like that,
(HE DEMONSTRATES)
As often as he
likes, it's true ;
And pull his thin
shroud round him too ;
For when the others
feast inside
He stays without,
dressed as he died,
Still covered with
his tatty shroud.
For only neat guests
are allowed
To take high feasts
in paradise.
So there he stands,
and scratches lice,
With dirty nails,
from matted hair.
With longing looks,
he lingers there,
Lives on a little
charity-
A somewhat sorry
sight is he.
Yes, all he has to
use and show
Is that little with
which he went below.
BRIDGET
Oh, husband dear, is
it too late ?
Are you in such a
sorry state ?
Oh, haven't you a
penny even
To have a good,
clean bath in heaven ?
No decent clothes to
wear up there,
In that far kingdom
of the air ?
The virtue of your
past life here
Did not do you much
good, I fear.
Oh dear, oh dear,
what can I do ?
There must be ways
of helping you.
(AN IDEA STRIKES
HER)
Good sir, perhaps
you'll live there twice ;
And go on back to
paradise ?
CURIO
I start my journey
with the sun,
Tomorrow's dawn,
and hope to come,
If nothing keeps me
on the ground,
To hearing of the
harp's fair sound,
When thirteen days
have run their race ;
Always allowing for
good grace.
BRIDGET
Would you be kind
enough to do
One little thing for
me ; would you ?
And do one heavenly
good deed
To ease my dear
one's dire need ?
When you set off
again from here,
Would you take
something to my dear ?
My new man's not so
very poor ;
We've many goods
within our store.
CURIO (WITH A SMILE)
I could indeed, dear
mistress, don't worry,
I'll take whatever I
can carry.
But gather it with
haste, please hurry,
I've little time to
talk or tarry,
For I'm a little
late already-
If I don't reach
great heaven's door
When I'm expected,
then I'm sure
St Peter will be
severe with me.
BRIDGET
I only need a few
minutes free.
I'll go and wrap a
joyful bundle
To ease his upset
and his trouble.
(SHE EXITS RIGHT)
CURIO
A good and pious,
simple soul,
By ancient
Aristotle's mole !
She's never
journeyed from her village :
A victim of a quick
mind's pillage,
Her weak thought's
troops fall easily.
Just quite the right
fool type for me;
Coins and clothes
for the legatee-
Fortuna favet
fortibus.
But fortune favours
boldness thus
When caution also
adds its seal.
And thus I think I'd
better feel
The west wind under
my heavenly heel
Before her present
man gets back-
A simple point of
law, in fact;
I know it's
recommended there
It's best to be the
happy heir
Unto some dead man's
noble share.
BRIDGET (RE-ENTERING
WITH A SACK)
Oh, good sir, you'll
be a faithful, true,
Swift messenger for
me, won't you ?
I've raided my
luck's little hold,
Ten polished crowns,
all pure gold,
I've hoarded like
the care mice-
Now he can pay for
paradise.
(GIVING THEM TO HIM)
I'd stashed them in
the cowshed there;
(POINTS RIGHT)
Against some such
sad day of care.
And take this sack
I've filled as well.
I've done my best
there, truth to tell.
In there there is a
woollen shirt,
To keep him from the
cold wind's hurt,
A pair of sturdy
shoes, near new,
A pair of leather
trousers too;
All there together
so that he
May stroll in heaven
decently,
And not be evermore
cast out
To wander ragged all
about.
And, in addition,
you will note,
I've slipped in
there a lovely coat,
Embroided with a
fair design,
Not velvet, mind,
but still quite fine.
It'll look, I hope,
quite sweet and nice,
In that far land of
paradise.
And here's his
leather purse to hold
The heaven's coins
he gets for gold.
And tell him, tell
the poor, old dear,
Next time you come
to visit here
His thoughtful,
faithful, little wife
Will have saved more
things for his life
In that dear land of
paradise,
To keep him fed and
free from lice.
Oh dear, oh dear
sir, I tell you true,
(WITH A SMALL SOB)
He was the dearer of
the two.
CURIO
(RE-ASSURINGLY)
Now do not worry,
lady dear:
I'm sure all this
will bring him cheer.
Yes, this will lift
his weary heart,
And give his spirit
a new start.
For now, on heaven's
holidays,
He can join in our
merry ways
And take a sip of
the wine of the sky
With angels and
blessed souls on high.
BRIDGET
How long, good sir,
will it then be
Before you call
again on me;
Before you float
from your high home
And bring me glad
word of my own?
CURIO (hastily)
It'll be a little
while till I come by.
It is a hard, hard
road from high.
To drop from
heaven's paradise
To earthly lowliness
here, twice
Within a short
time's space, is so
Hard for me to
arrange, you know-
To find a gentle
fall, you see,
Just won't be
juggled easily.
To get an earthly
intermission
You need St Peter's
good permission
And lots of other
things like that;
He often simply
knocks you back.
BRIDGET
Oh dear, the money
may be done
Before you get a
chance to come.
Then he'd be left
without a way
To buy an ale to
cheer his day.
He'll have no gold
to see him by
To toast to
friendship in the sky.
And so he will end
up, I'm sure,
Quite as an unhappy
as before.
But never mind, but
never mind,
I am quite certain I
can find
A way to save a
little more
To hide beneath the
cowshed floor
When threshing's
done; just as before.
There, take this
silver for your fee
(SHE PAYS HIM)
And greet him
lovingly from me.
Give him my best
when you get there,
And may your trip be
free from care.
CURIO
Celestial thanks to
you, dear soul.
May the Lord on High
keep you well and whole !
May each night wash
your soul of sadness,
And may each day
bring you more gladness.
But I must be upon
my way.
I must be off,
without delay,
To reach, within my
thirteen days,
The gentle light of
heaven's rays.
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