New folk comedy The Jester and the King Scene One

THE JESTER AND THE KING

SCENE ONE

QUICKFELLOW'S BEDROOM

Note- King’s throne and Jester’s bedroom can be on one stage. Throne back stage left, bedroom forward stage right with appropriate changes of lighting.

AS LIGHT FOCUS ONE COMES UP WE FIND QUICKFELLOW ASLEEP ON HIS BED, SNORING. GRETA ENTERS FROM ENTRANCE ONE, SINGING WITH A BROOM IN HER HAND.

GRETA (SINGING)

The fox went out in a hungry plight,

Prayed for the moon to give him light . . .

GRETA NOTICES QUICKFELLOW

GRETA

Wake up, you empty bag of wit;

The sun has hardly risen yet,

And here you are, asleep again.

WITH MOCK SOLEMNITY GRETA KNIGHTS QUICKFELLOW ON THE STOMACH WITH THE BROOM

GRETA

Arise, Sir Laziest-of-Men!

QUICKFELLOW WAKES UP WITH A START

QUICKFELLOW

Eh? Pondering, just pondering.

GRETA

Well, ponder on this problem then:

Apply your much-acclaimed, great wit

To something that's in front of it;

Your pretty purse is running dry

And we need gold to see us by.

QUICKFELLOW

That's just what I was working on-

For as you note, our gold has gone,

Like dancing dust before the storm,

Like sparkling stars before the dawn.

But how am I to get some more?

Now that's the problem, to be sure.

It is too soon for kingly gift,

And is too late for saving thrift.

GRETA (SARCASTICALLY)

The quickness of your thought, the fine

Swift keenness of your clever mind,

Are truly wonderful to see!

Such brilliance and such clarity!

Such penetrating insight, found

With grasp of all that is profound!

I could have told you that myself!

QUICKFELLOW ( WITH PHONEY DIGNITY )

Dear Nag, you've wasted all the wealth

Bestowed on us by our good king,

At our sad time of marrying,

In three short month of squandering-

With pretty dresses, perfumed airs,

And flashing jewellery from fairs.

GRETA

I like the sound of that! No doubt

You have forgotten all about

Your all-night revelling, your gifts

To short-lived enterprises: lifts

On fortune's road to its dead end.

And all the other coins you spend

With good friends in the gambling trade-

And of your fine clothes, tailor-made.

QUICKFELLOW

The wheel of fortune turns its way,

And what was once is not today.

So, as they say, what's done is done.

No need to quibble, dearest one.

Still, things don't look too good for us.

The way I view the matter's thus-

As yet I dare not ask for more;

The king throws spendthrifts out the door.

GRETA

You'd better think of something fast;

Or else our present state is past.

QUICKFELLOW (DEJECTEDLY)

My mind is blank, my brain is dry.

I see no plans in my thought's eye.

We can't get married once more- that's by-

So all that we can do is die!

QUICKFELLOW SITS DEJECTEDLY ON THE BED BUT SUDDENLY SPRINGS UP AS AN IDEA STRIKES HIM

QUICKFELLOW

Greta, Greta, that's it! Let's die!

GRETA (IRONICALLY)

Quickfellow wait; just let me try

To guess- this worry's warped your brain,

And now you're really quite insane.

We need to live so we should die:

We need to laugh so we should cry,

Or rest our legs by a mountain climb.

QUICKFELLOW

No, no! I've really got a plan this time.

Now listen closely to my pretence.

I'll seek a special audience

With his most royal Majesty.

All onion-teared, in misery,

I'll tell him how you passed away,

Most sadly, only yesterday.

Yes, you have gone- so I'll relate-

A victim of a cruel fate,

And after dearest treatment too . . .

For only the best of all would do,

And that, of course, took all our gold.

GRETA

Where's all this leading, dear Sir Bold?

QUICKFELLOW

Oh, Greta, come now, don't you see!

True brilliance is bound to be

Built on a strong simplicity.

I'll have to ask his Majesty

For gold to bury you, as is fit,

I'm sure he won't mind giving it.

He won't mind paying properly

In such a time of tragedy.

GRETA

Well, mind you don't end hanging loose

Upon the end of a hangman's noose.

QUICKFELLOW

No fear, my love. no fear of that!

I won't end up the one who's flat.

Indeed, to be quite sure of my prediction,

I'll play my part with real conviction.

So it shall be! Now you lie low

And off with my sad news I'll go.

GRETA

All right, I'll vanish from court view.

I'll disappear from day; but you

Take greatest care to sound quite true!

GRETA GIVES QUICKFELLOW A KISS AND SHE EXITS VIA ENTRANCE ONE. QUICKFELLOW CROSSES TO EXIT ONE, SINGING.

QUICKFELLOW (SINGING TO HIMSELF)

A fox went out in a hungry plight,

Prayed for the moon to give him light,

For he'd many a mile to trot that night

Before he could reach his den-o, den-o, den-o;

He'd many a mile to trot that night

Before he could reach his den-o. . .

QUICKFELLOW EXITS. LIGHTS FADE